CCC.
I’ll keep the recap on this one reasonably short, mostly so I don’t burn myself out from writing post-race blogs.
The big learning lesson from this one is that racing at the highest level requires the highest level of focus and attention to detail. I did not give this race and the people in it the respect it deserved and to be honest that was lowkey pretty lame of me!
When thinking about my season, CCC was never on my radar. I had made the decision after UTMB last year that I needed a break from this race and the atmosphere around it. I wanted to focus all, and I mean all, of my attention into Western States, and if I felt good in the back half of the year, I would line up for Diagonale de Fous on Reunion Island. In the grand scheme of races I want to do well at in my career, CCC never landed on the radar either - it has always been UTMB. It has interested me, I just never thought I would do it since I thought every time I would come out to Chamonix, I would be targeting the big loop.
After signing with HOKA in August, I got really excited to line up on a start line as soon as possible, and the plan was to announce joining the team in Chamonix during UTMB week anyway. I was feeling really good after States and putting in big days running around the Sierra all through July. I felt strong and fit in the mountains and just felt like I needed a little sharpening up to race at my top-end. My coach and I decided to put together a 3 week block starting in August to get ready for CCC and see what would happen. We figured the worst that would happen would be a so-so result and the best would be a sick podium. At the end of the day, it is just more race experience and we were going to be there anyway so why the hell not.
I did have one “why not” reason deep in my gut that is important here and something I really want to challenge myself to let go of moving forward as a pro. My “why not” was the anxiety of having a bad performance after two of the best races of my life and immediately losing stock and value to brands and fans. I think this is something everyone goes through after having great performances but isn’t talked about enough. The whole “you’re only as good as your last performance” thing is absolutely not real but it can really be debilitating if you allow it be.
The combination of no real focus or goal for the race, only three weeks to mentally and specifically prepare, anxiety of doing anything worse than a podium, and not to mention almost no course knowledge other than the two times I’ve run UTMB, really set me up for a rough day with no fight when things got tough. All of these mental pieces added up to having a sub-par day that I did not want but I do think I needed.
Everything being said, I am happy I faced that anxiety and ripped the bandaid off. Not every race can be your best even if you are fully prepared in every way for it. You could roll an ankle, get sick, or the weather can turn - things that are out of your control can happen and ruin a day you were poised for, and it is important to be able to live with those moments that cause a poor performance and not let them influence what you know you are capable of.
Ok, now into some details. There are two major things I think I could have done differently that would have dramatically changed my day:
Drink More Fluids:
Upon arriving in Chamonix six days prior to the race, I already knew the humidity was going to be a big issue on race day. I’m already a heavy sweater and the Sierra is one of the driest places you can train/live. Even going on a 30 minute easy shakeout I must have lost over a liter of fluid. What I should have done is buy a scale and do a super simple sweat rate test, but I didn’t and just assumed everything would be ok carrying three bottles in between aid stations. The thought of carrying more seemed like diminishing returns as my pack was already super heavy and I wasn’t sure how I could fit a fourth full flask somewhere on me. With more course knowledge, I could have filled up flasks or carried additional empty ones at fountains along the course I didn’t realize existed. I saw these as I ran by but when I’m in race mode I don’t react quickly unless the action was already in the plan. It didn’t register that I needed to utilize the fountains until it was too late.
Take More Liquid Calories:
The day before the race, Vic came over and we went through several options for nutrition plans. A crux of CCC is not seeing crew for 5-6 hours until Champex-Lac, and having to carry all your nutrition on you until that point. With an already fully-stocked pack with mandatory gear, this makes carrying additional bottles and nutrition extra challenging. We opted to go with gels for all my carbs and diverted from carrying extra bottles with drink mix in them to fill at the aid stations. This meant that I had to take a gel every 20 minutes instead of the usual every 30 + a bottle of drink mix throughout the hour to hit the carb targets. Understanding this would mean I would be getting less sodium also, I took salt pills much more frequently than I would in the past. The combo of more gels and more salt pills made me feel bloated and had me battling side stitches all day, which ultimately lead me to eat less later in the race and get into a massive energy shortage.
The race in general felt pretty uneventful. I look back at it as three distinct sections:
Courmayeur to Arnouvaz (mile 0-16)
Arnouvaz to Champex-Lac (mile 16-34)
Champex-Lac to Chamonix (mile 34-62)
I’ll go through each of these highlighting the big mistakes and takeaways as I have done in the past.
Section 1: Courmayeur to Arnouvaz (mile 0-16)
As everyone knows, the race starts out with a notorious 5000ft climb that everyone takes out way too hard. The big thing I want to talk about here is carbo-loading, which is something I have been very intentional about since Canyons, aiming to hit 12g of CHO per kg body weight per day in the 48 hours leading up to a race. Starting with a heavy pack and nearly 20 gels on me already makes that climb much more challenging, but I was also pounds heavier than my baseline from being carb-loaded and over-hydrated. I felt like I was working way too hard even just hiking up this climb, meanwhile Hayden was chatting and making jokes the ENTIRE way.
My coach mentioned that on some tour stages with a lot of climbing, riders actually try to cut weight the night before rather than carbo-loading, which was interesting to hear but totally makes sense. The only difference is their stages are 4-5 hours while we are preparing for 8-15 hour races. At some point the scale tips one way or the other and there is probably some testing we can do to see what is the max weight from carbs + fluids I can be at while still maintaining efficiency at a certain pace climbing. And this is really only important for races that start with an hour+ climb.
Anyway, I felt pretty rough this whole stretch. The first climb seemed to take a lot out of me, probably from working too hard and probably from the humidity and not drinking enough. I superman’d HARD on the trail right in front of Dakota at mile 7 on the steep descent down to the first aid station. Pretty sure I went close to 45 degrees balancing on my face with my legs in the air behind me before slamming back down. It felt like that kind of day.
Once we hit the rollers to Arnouvaz I started getting passed by a lot of friends and had a bit of an emotional low. The climbs felt harder than they should have and I was struggling getting into a good rhythm descending after that faceplant earlier. Finally around mile 15, my legs turned around and I started gaining ground on people again until I ended up in a group of Americans rolling together into Arnouvaz.
Section 2: Arnouvaz to Champex-Lac (mile 16-34)
After taking my time at the aid, I started to feel like myself again up Grand Col Ferret. I eventually caught up to Caleb, then Eric, chatted with both of them for a bit and then decided to push a little. I feel like in the last 800 ft of this climb I pushed myself up into the front of the race again - probably into the top 20. Descending felt amazing and I must have passed another 10 people before arriving in La Fouly, but skipped a couple critical fountains I decided to roll through. Such small decisions lead to such massive blowups later.
Exiting the La Fouly aid station, I was happy to see Eric and Jon were right there behind me. Eric and I then proceeded to hammer to Champex. We fed off each other really well and kept asking what place we thought we were in. Turns out we had run into 7th and 8th by Champex, but the climb to the aid station started to crack us both a little.
I had trouble deciding if I should just stick to a long-strided hike or shuffle up the climb to the Champex aid. I remember wishing I had spent some time out here to feel confident on how to approach each of these sections. Last year at UTMB I was completely wasted coming into Champex and almost dropped, so anything felt like I was doing better than that.
The energy of the crowds got me to Champex fine but I could tell this back stretch was going to get hard. I sat at the aid and had trouble thinking about what I needed. It was a big “culture” shock compared to running into aid stations at States, lifting my arms, and having my crew do the rest. The plan just did not feel dialed and I had to think way too much, which just lead to wasting time jerking off while I simultaneously tried to recover, cool off, stuff my pack, and answer questions.
Section 3: Champex-Lac to Chamonix (mile 34-62)
This was a total wash. The only thing I’m proud of here is the forward movement. There were zero thoughts of dropping and zero hunch over on the side of the trail moments, despite how bad I eventually felt. I took terrible care of myself in this final marathon and went total zombie mode.
It started with calf cramps up the Bovine climb anytime I would try to shuffle which just lead to a slow hike to the top and giving up a few places. The worst part about cramping is knowing you fucked up. I spent 40 minutes here just completely pissed at myself for fucking up by not drinking enough, even though I knew that was going to be an issue. I felt like I reverted and I was no better than I was a year ago racing here. It felt like I didn’t earn any of the results I got in the last few months and have learned absolutely nothing. Obviously I don’t actually believe that, but that is how I pump myself up sometimes. And no I don’t need therapy. I lost my stomach somewhere on that climb too and the gel every 20 minutes protocol turned into one every hour, which took every ounce of my soul not to throw back up.
At this point, I’m totally dry on water, taking in 30g of carb per hour, cramping and trying not to throw up. Shits bad man. Somehow, I was able to run downhill fine so I pushed to Trient and from there to the finish I just survived on Coke and water with a gel followed by an exorcistic deep belly burp immediately after.
There were moments of fight, usually on descents, but I ultimately dropped back to 15th and finished an hour slower than I was hoping for. A lot of specific lessons learned along the way, really highlighting to me how fucking different it is racing out here and how much attention to detail a course and race like this requires.
As much as a bad race sucks, there is nothing more motivating for me. Really, nothing. I’m not necessarily eager to hop on a starting line after a long year of intense racing, but I can’t wait until next year to get a crack on doing this successfully. I want to double. The whole concept of it intrigues me so much - nailing two very different races. I don’t want to approach next year by just targeting Western States and then if I feel good, throwing my hat in the UTMB ring. I want to work backwards and do everything I can starting in January to podium at both races. I don’t know what that looks like yet but part of the equation is getting to France right after States.
I just turned 29 and I am beginning to really understand my values…
I think your values in your youth are definitely molded by how you grew up, who you surrounded yourself, and what was spoken to you. For me, those were shaped around working a 9 to 5 high-paying job, earning enough to buy a big home and supporting your family. That always seemed like the end goal to strive for, and if you were lucky MAYBE you were able to achieve that by getting a desk job in an industry you’re kind of sort of interested in, but that was far from a guarantee and ultimately didn’t really matter.
I’m in a position now and enabled with the resources to pursue being one of the best in the world at what I absolutely love to do. How many people in the world are dealt a hand like this? To not give 100% and do everything I can to be the best would be an absolute waste of an opportunity.
I think for me, that means taking a step away from my current primary job and focusing all of myself into running. No, that does not mean running all day, and I’m sure I will not know what to do with my free time on a lot of days.
By doing this I will be able to approach the sport from every angle. I will be able to squeeze extra bits out of myself on hard days, travel when needed, rest appropriately, eat better, and ultimately just pour all my energy into a single pursuit. You can be 80-90% good at a lot of things but it is truly impossible to be your best at more than one thing, and that is what I want to dedicate to next year (or more) of my life to.
It’s extremely uncertain how it will end up. The stress of a singular pursuit could backfire and psychologically crack me. I could get injured and have no results for months or even years. My contract could get cut or I may not be able to re-sign one if things don’t go so well. If all or one of these things happen, I know it will not have been a waste. It will be disappointing for sure, but not a waste.
I will never ask “what-if”. I will never doubt I poured 100% of myself into this thing and did everything I can in my control to be one of the best. I can always find work in the future, and at the very least, I won’t have to go back to doing something I’m not fully invested into. I will have the freedom to choose to pursue a life and career that embodies my values and not just provides me with a stable paycheck and benefits.
In the meantime, I hope none of my coworkers read this…
2024 CCC - 15th Place, 11:22:48
